


I Miss the Light

by zaynedere



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Blindness, Cuddles, Emotional Roller Coaster, Frustration, Hurt/Comfort, Keith gets his vision taken from him, Lots of Angst, Lots of Crying, M/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-16 11:23:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8100586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaynedere/pseuds/zaynedere
Summary: “I miss my eyes,” Keith whimpered, attempting to take a deep breath. “I had a dream, and it was so colorful and vibrant and I could see, and I woke up and-and then I couldn’t. I wanna see the lights again, and the colors and you,” He sobbed. “It’s only been one day but-but it feels like a lifetime."Keith's vision gets taken by Haggar, and he struggles to get used to the feeling of darkness.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So apparently I love putting Keith through pain?? 
> 
> This is just a random thing I typed up, just like my other painful fanfiction, but I do plan on continuing it!

Their mission was supposed to be easy: get in, rescue the prisoners and gather intel, get out. A fairly typical mission. What wasn’t so typical, though, was the fact that Haggar was there, Zarkon’s favoured witch. The paladin’s hadn’t realized she was present until Keith happened upon her as he was moving to meet Shiro in a different area of the ship. Before the red paladin could escape, a purple sheen fell over his body and he couldn’t move as he was lifted into the air and flung towards the group of robed people. 

 

He landed on the floor and moved to get up, but suddenly hands were holding him down and keeping him there as he struggled. A cry for help left his lips before he could stop it, and he saw Haggar above him, grinning. She kneeled down, pulling off Keith’s helmet with clawed fingers, setting it near the paladin’s head. “I want the other’s to hear your  _ screams, _ ” She laughed, the palms of her hands pushing against Keiths eyes. He thrashed around, chanting  _ no no no _ that echoed in the large room. 

 

Suddenly, blinding, white hot pain shot into Keith’s system through his eyes and he actually screamed, loud and guttural. The paladin’s back arched as he screamed his throat dry, the pain seeming to never end even as he felt the light pressure from Haggar’s hands fade away. Screams faded into loud sobs as his body was freed, hands coming up to cup his face, trying to rid of the pain to no avail. There were footsteps that echoed around him but he just couldn’t bring himself to move, the pain radiating from his eyes feeling like a million needles. 

 

He heard Shiro’s voice vaguely before he felt himself being picked up, sobs continuing to spill from his lips as they jogged somewhere, hopefully a lion. He was too distracted to think about if he was in an enemy's arms or one of his fellow paladins’.

 

The pain started to ebb away slowly as he felt himself being set down and strapped in; definitely the red lion; he could feel her worried presence as they took off. The sound around him started to come in around the ebbing pain, though he kept his eyes covered, his own whimpers echoing in Red’s small cockpit. He registered voices yelling over Red’s comms; Allura and Shiro barking commands and the other paladins most likely following them dutifully. 

 

Red came to a stop in the docking bay, mouth opening to allow Allura and Coran to rush in, the orange haired man, at least he assumed, picked him up and he felt more bouncing from jogging. The pain had gone down significantly, though when he dared to open his eyes the pain flared back up, causing him to cry out again. Allura said something in a worried tone though Keith didn’t pain attention to her words, focusing on how wet his face felt. He assumed that it was tears, but his fingers came back with something that didn’t  _ feel _ like tears. 

 

_ Blood. _

 

He heard Allura say it as he was stripped of his armor and put into a different suit, before he was forced to stand on his own. In no time, cold crept onto him, and Keith’s consciousness melted away into nothing.

 

\----

 

When the red paladin woke, it was to his own stumbling out of what he assumed was a healing pod, since he nearly fell down the few steps in front of the pods. Strong arms caught him, and Keith finally opened his eyes to see who his saviour was, only to find complete darkness in his line of sight. A frown spread across his lips, panic bubbling up inside of him as he ran his fingers over his eyes, hoping that something just happened to be covering his face. There wasn’t.

 

His own hands pulled at his face, a yell beginning to bubble in his chest. “Wh-What’s going on?” He cried, and bigger hands were back, grabbing Keith’s wrists and pulling them away from his face. 

 

“Keith, Keith calm down. Breathe,” Shiro’s voice rang throughout his ears, and the younger quieted down, but his chest still rose and fell quickly.    
  


“I-I can’t see, Shiro. Why can’t I see?” He heard Shiro shift at the question, hands tightening on his wrists. 

 

“You… Haggar used magic on your eyes. She took your sight,” Keith must have looked more panicked, because Shiro shushed him moving his hands from his waist and to his face. “It’s reversible, don’t worry. It’s just… going to take a long time.” Tears dripped from Keith’s now dull eyes, the boy trying to look around in a panic. He couldn’t see, he wasn’t in  _ control. _

 

“What do you mean that-that it’s going to take a long time? How long is a ‘long time’?” Keith yelled, pushing himself away from Shiro, and falling right onto his ass. He could _ feel _ Shiro reaching for him, which was fucking  _ weird, _ but he didn’t dwell on it, scrambling towards the door. He could _ feel  _ where the door was and didn’t question it as he stood near it, chest heaving. There were other people in the room, all of them near the black paladin. “Answer me, somebody! I  _ know  _ you’re there.” 

 

Allura spoke first. “Keith… Your condition is reversible but it could take  _ years _ before your vision is restored… Altean technology is advanced, but not advanced enough for this spell… I’m so, so sorry Keith…” She said, and there was a moment of silence before Keith ran out of the room, a sob ripping out of his throat as he raced towards his room. With every thud of his foot, he could almost  _ feel  _ the area around him, and he was lead into his room, slamming his fist on the scanner to lock the sliding door before collapsing on his bed. Sitting up, he brought his fist down on his pillow over and over again, yells mixed with sobs falling from his throat before soon it was just sobs, hands falling limp against a beaten pillow. 

 

“Why me?” He whimpered softly, wishing he could see his room, his bed, his red jacket that was hopefully hanging on the hanger next to his door. There was a lot of emotions mixing around in his head right now-anger, sadness, confusion, the most prominent being  _ fear.  _ How was he supposed to even get around by himself without his eyes, his most important asset? Keith didn’t understand the whole  _ feeling  _ thing either, but he knew that it wouldn’t be of much use in hand to hand combat even in just training. He didn’t know what he was going to  _ do.  _ He had never imagined that in his lifetime that he would lose his eyesight; it was just another one of those things that he had taken for granted. 

 

Keith didn’t go to dinner that night, only eating a little of the food that was left at the door before nearly breaking down when he kept missing the food goo with his spoon. The food was left there, and the red paladin curled back up in his bed, head raising when he felt someone near his door. He couldn’t feel beyond their feet but stayed quiet, wondering if they were going to say something. A voice did come, a familiar one that belonged to Shiro. 

 

“Keith? Hey buddy… I know you’re going through a lot right now I just… I wanted to know if you needed someone to talk to.” There was a moment of silence, then in a quieter tone he spoke. “I know how it feels to get something taken from you by the Galra.” After a moment, Keith cleared his throat, telling him that it was okay to come in. The door slid open and heavy footsteps made themselves into the room, Keith feeling the heavy weight of Shiro sitting on his bed. 

 

Keith sat up and looked in where he assumed Shiro was, which was only a little off, but still freaked the black paladin out a bit. He wasn’t used to such an…  _ empty _ look his his friend’s eyes. The boy started talking after a moment, obviously trying not to cry again. “I… It’s weird,” He mumbled, playing with his hands. “I, I can  _ feel  _ you there, I  _ know _ you’re there, I just, I can’t see you. It’s  _ hard _ ,” His voice wobbled as tears rolled down his cheeks. “I feel like I’m not in control of anything; that I-I’ll be useless if I try to do anything involving, well,  _ anything _ . A  _ feeling _ isn’t going to help me. I-I’m  _ scared, _ Shiro,” He whimpered, his usual demeanor peeling away and revealing a much more sensitive paladin. 

 

Shiro frowned and brought Keith into a close hug, holding him close. “Shh,” He whispered, rocking the two of them. “I know it’s tough… I’m not saying that this is going to be easy on you, on any of us. But you will never be useless. All of us are here to support each other, and you’re not exempt from it. _We’re here_ _for you,_ _Keith._ Don’t forget that.” Shiro was able to keep his voice somewhat steady, even though he was ready to just cry with Keith. He knew firsthand about how it felt to have something just _taken_ , and not being able to do anything about it. 

 

Keith cried into the other for a long time, but eventually started to calm down, only small sniffles and hiccups coming from him. “Thank you,” Keith whispered, still holding onto Shiro. He felt the other shift and looked up, a wave of sadness hitting him when he remembered that he wouldn’t be able to see the elder man. “Do you need to go to bed?” Keith asked, though he really didn’t want Shiro to go; feeling someone beside him helped ground him, keeping him from feeling like he was floating in nothing. 

 

Shiro shook his head, feeling guilty when he remembered that the other couldn’t see him. “No, I can stay.” Shiro knew how Keith felt and was willing to stay by his side all night if he needed to. “Do you want me to stay?” He asked, rubbing the younger's back. A timid nod was what he received, purple-gray eyes looking around in a way that Shiro would consider unsettling. 

 

“Can you? It… You help me feel… grounded,” Keith murmured, sighing shakily. 

 

“Of course,” Shiro mumbled, hugging the other close for a moment longer before parting again. “Now, I’m going to go get dressed in some night clothes, will you be okay to get dressed by yourself?” He wasn’t meaning to sound rude, but Keith nearly took it as an insult, nodding. 

 

“I’m not helpless,” He mumbled, missing Shiro’s heat as it left the bed and followed him to the door. 

 

“I never said that,” The older man chuckled, letting the door slide open. “I’ll be back.” With that, Keith felt Shiro’s presence fade away quickly and he sighed, standing nervously and locating his drawers, feeling around for a shirt and shorts. He grabbed both, he hoped, and took off the healing pod suit that he hadn’t changed out of. It fell to the ground near him, and he struggled with the shorts until they were on properly, then slid on the shirt easily. He just hoped he had it on correctly; his  _ feeling  _ thing only told him vaguely where things were. Keith’s door slid open as he was walking back to the bed, and he didn’t bother to turn his head as he sat in the bed, knowing that it was just Shiro. 

 

“Hey Shiro,” He greeted, grabbing a pillow and cuddling with it as the other sat on his bed again.

 

“Hey,” Shiro murmured back, looking at Keith. The poor boy looked sick, obvious sadness on his face. His dulled eyes continued to look around, most likely searching for a familiar light. “Do you want me to sleep on the floor?”

 

Keith shook his head, absent minded eyes blinking a few times. “Ah, you can sleep on the bed too. If you don’t mind, at least.” The red paladin suggested quietly. Shiro hummed, laying back on the bed that barely fit both of them; he’d have to lay on his side. 

 

“I’ll sleep on the bed then. Are you tired enough to sleep?” Shiro turned on his side, watching his blind friend. Said friend nodded, carefully laying down and laying on his side as well, facing Shiro. 

 

“Thanks, Shiro…” Keith mumbled again, tugging the blanket over the two of them and letting his tired eyes close, not that it made much of a difference to the boy. A warmth spread in Shiro’s chest, and he smiled, shifting in the bed softly. 

 

“It’s no problem Keith, I know how you feel. Wake me if you need anything, okay?” Keith nods, and the elder watched as the boy fell asleep, chest rising and falling slowly.  Shiro brushed a lock of Keiths hair away from his face, relaxing at the calm look that decorated the youngers face. He wanted nothing more than to keep Keith safe, and he knew it was wrong of him to even  _ think  _ of him as anything more of a friend; the younger hadn’t had as much life experience as he had, and it would only make Shiro feel guilty for even attempting to ask him out. 

 

Keith could even think of it as something to do with pity, since that’s just how he thought. Headstrong, and always jumping to conclusions. That’s who Keith  _ is _ , and Shiro wouldn’t want it any other way. 

 

It was another half hour before Shiro found himself falling asleep as well, only to wake a few hours later to someone shaking his arm, and the elder took a moment to blink away the sleep in his eyes enough to analyze the situation. Keith was crying, grabbing onto Shiro’s bicep and still shaking it since he couldn’t see that the other was awake. The elder shifted, hand moving up to grab Keith’s wrist. 

 

“What’s wrong?” He asked tiredly, and suddenly the other was buried in his chest, crying and holding onto his night shirt tightly.

 

“I miss my eyes,” Keith whimpered, attempting to take a deep breath. “I had a dream, and it was so colorful and vibrant and I could  _ see,  _ and I woke up and-and then I couldn’t. I wanna see the lights again, and the colors and  _ you,”  _ He sobbed. “It’s only been one day but-but it feels like a  _ lifetime,  _ and-” Shiro hushed him, holding him close.

 

“Shh, don’t think about it,” Shiro murmured, petting the other’s hair. “You’re making yourself more upset…” The other quieted down, giving off small hiccups. “I know it may seem like forever, but I promise that it won’t be, okay? You can’t let yourself fall down and refuse to pick yourself back up. You can’t give up.” He mumbled, still tired. He felt Keith nod, and continued holding him until the other fell back asleep, and even after he didn’t draw his arms away. 

  
The elder fell back asleep after an hour, keeping close to the younger as he slept. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here's another short chapter, since I've been a bit busy. This isn't beta'd atm, so please forgive any typos!!

When Keith woke, he immediately felt comforting warmth around him. He was almost confused at first, but memories flooded into his brain, reminding him of the day before, of his newfound disability. He shook his head and let himself cuddle into Shiro, opting to try and sleep more instead of letting his mind race around.

 

He didn’t fall back asleep though, mind running in circles around the fact that he was now  _ blind.  _ His whole  _ life _ he had been dependent on his eyes, like most people were. Now though, he had a job bigger than most people could even fathom. Keith was the red paladin; a defender of the universe. His  _ job  _ depended on his eyes. What use would he be in hand to hand combat with Galra soldiers when he could only hear and  _ feel _ their presence; it wasn’t like he could detect when the enemy would shoot him, or bring a sword upon him; this  _ feeling _ could never, ever replace his eyes. 

 

Keith felt Shiro shift and he froze, hoping that the other wasn’t awake due to his internal battle, even if it wasn’t possible to wake someone with simple thoughts. The other paladin’s voice let out a gentle murmur, and Keith knew that he was awake. “How long ‘ave you been up?” The deep voice had said, and a weirdly warm, metal arm wrapped around Keith’s waist, rubbing the area softly. He could feel himself blushing, opting to continue hiding his face.

 

“Not that long,” He mumbled back, sighing. “Head wouldn’t let me fall back asleep.” Shiro nodded, momentarily forgetting about Keith’s current condition. Keith waited for the other to say something back, to at least acknowledge him. “Did you fall back asleep?” He asked, not knowing that Shiro was now fully awake and looking down at him. 

 

“What? No… I’ve got my eyes wide… open…” Realization fell upon the black paladin, and guilt bloomed inside of him. “I… Sorry Keith… I forgot…” Keith had a gentle frown decorated his face as his blind eyes turned up to Shiro, pain and sadness floating in them. 

 

“It’s okay,” Keith whispered. “I did too.” 

 

The two stayed like that for awhile before Shiro got up, deciding that he needed to start the day. After he had left, Keith remained in bed, not being able to find the motivation to even sit up. He felt the presence of the other paladins passing his room, and after he counted them all heading to the dining room, he finally dragged himself to his feet, quietly making his way down the halls to where he could feel Red calling to him. Once in the loading bay, he heard metal moving and felt Red’s open mouth near him. Of course, he stepped in, making his way to the familiar seat, worn from the many battles she had gone through, but still comfortable.

 

Keith leaned back into the seat, his lion pouring concern over the paladin’s current state. The two had a quiet conversation, if you could even call it that. It was basically Keith telling his lion how he felt, even though she already knew because of their mind connection, and she comforted him. Soon though, Lance was walking into the docks with a whistle; Keith could sense him through Red. 

 

“Keith buddy, you here? You didn’t show up at breakfast and it’s like, y’know, the most important meal of the day and all.” Red must of sensed Keith’s uneasiness because she  _ growled _ at Lance, who shrieked and hopped away. He didn’t even know that they could do that. The blue paladin calmed himself down, walking up to Red with a determined look on his face. “C’mon Keith, as much as I hate you, you need to be in shape. Plus…” It was silent for a moment, and the red paladin wondered what he was doing. “Plus everyone’s worried about you. Even me, believe it or not. So just, come down and eat with us. Or by yourself or just with Shiro, because we  _ all  _ know that you’re pretty friendly with him,” Lance teased lightly, and it was enough to draw Keith away from the comfort of his lion, stepping out of her mouth and feeling Lance near him. He reached out and pat around until he found the other’s sleeve, holding onto it then nodding. 

 

“Let’s go,” He said quietly, comforted by the fact that Lance didn’t push him away and silently thanked him for going slower. The two arrived in the dining room minutes later, Lance leading him to the chair next to Shiro and pulling out the chair for him thankfully, because Keith was having a hard time turning it towards himself. Once he was sitting, he sensed a bowl and spoon being set in front of him and he once again gave a silent thank you, because eating off of a plate would cause a breakdown that did  _ not _ need to be happening in front of his only friends. 

 

Carefully, he picked up the spoon, cautiously dipping it in the goo and lightly scooping, bringing it to his mouth and relaxing when he managed to bring food to his lips. Keith ate slowly, missing the bowl a few times but managing to eat most of his food before he didn’t feel like trying anymore. Something that used to be so easy and came so naturally to him was now one of the hardest things to do without his eyes. A heavy hand was set on his shoulder, and Keith turned towards it, once again hoping to see who the hand belonged to. 

 

“Keith,” Shiro spoke, and the younger paladin just wanted to curl up in Shiro’s arms and sleep off the magic. “How about you go back to your room and rest some more while the rest of us train.” Immediately, Keith’s face fell into a scowl, moving his shoulder away from the other’s hand. Training was one of the things that Keith found comfort in, and telling him to just lie around while his paladin’s put themselves through their paces just didn’t seem  _ fair. _ Allura’s voice spoke before Shiro’s could apologize, though.

 

“Shiro is right, Keith. You must rest, and we both know that I don’t just mean physically.” Her gentle hand rested on his shoulder, and he let his scowl fall because she was exactly right. “It’s quite obvious that you still aren’t comfortable enough to do much, and that’s alright. You can continue training when you’re ready, but now is not that time. Go lie down and let yourself relax, okay?” Keith nodded to where he hoped Allura was standing, carefully getting up.

 

“Shiro?” He mumbled. “Sorry.” The black paladin’s presence made itself known next to Keith, strong arms pulling him into a hug. 

 

“You don’t need to apologize; just get some rest. Do you want me to walk you to your room?” Keith nodded at the other, leaning into him as they walked. He fit perfectly under Shiro’s arm and loved the feeling, wishing that the gesture could have happened before Keith lost his sight, under circumstances that made the younger’s heart glow with just the thought of it. Most of the other paladin’s knew of his crush on Shiro; who  _ wouldn’t _ have a crush on the man? He was tall, buff beyond belief, and so, so sweet. Though sadly, Shiro was still older than him by almost six years, and he doubted that the elder would even consider him as a love interest. 

 

Shiro stopped walking and Keith stopped as well, sighing as his door slipped open. “Thanks,” He murmured, wishing he could stay tucked under the other’s arm until this passed. The other hummed softly, bringing Keith into his arms once more and burying his face in Keith’s thick, black hair. 

 

“You’re welcome. Get some rest, okay? We can start training again after you’re… Mentally stable.” Keith nodded against his broad chest, parting and walking into his room. He totally almost ran into the door frame, and that definitely didn’t help how he felt. The door slid shut and Keith laid down in bed, curling up above the messy covers. 

 

It had only been a day since this whole mess started, and he could feel himself just  _ falling apart.  _ Life without his eyes was just  _ that _ much harder, and he felt as if all of his intense training that he’s put himself has gone to waste. All of his knowledge he gained from hand to hand combat was now useless; you can’t fight something you can’t see. In Keith’s case, he wouldn’t be able to do more than swing his sword and hope it hits an enemy. 

 

He took a deep breath; thinking like this will only make him feel worse, and he can’t train if his mental health was still shitty. Maybe Shiro will help train him, hone in on his hearing and maybe figure out what this  _ feeling  _ thing was. Allura might know more about it, now that he thought of it. He’ll visit her later, when the rest of the group wasn’t training. 

 

Keith laid in bed for an hour before getting too restless, deciding that hanging out with Red again was a better idea. His bare feet padded slowly down the halls, his sensing thing keeping him from running into corners. Red was already waiting, mouth open so her paladin could walk in with ease. Said paladin easily sat down, feeling more relaxed with her. The two had another silent conversation, Keith speaking aloud while Red spoke in his mind. 

 

There was a nudging in his head, Red telling him to close his eyes and see through hers like they were attempting to do in one of their first training exercises. Keith complied easily, gasping softly as he could  _ see _ from her height. Of course, it was probably around fifty feet up, but he could  _ see.  _ He started crying, heavy tears dripping down his face. He thanked Red, looking all around the room and at the other lions, at their vibrant  _ colors. _

 

Keith sat there for a long time, just looking around. It was comforting to know that he could see through Red, that his blindness didn’t carry on over to her. The other paladin’s made it into the room, and Keith started crying again, seeing everyone’s worn faces has never made him happier. He fired up his comms, since the rest of the group had their suits on, and let himself cry into the mic. “Guys,” He whimpered, and he saw the worry shoot up immediately on Shiro’s face, and he had never been so happy to see that look. “I-I can see through Red’s eyes. I can  _ see,” _ He whimpered, and a grin found it’s way on the other’s faces Shiro looking up at Red with a bright, bright grin. 

 

“Keith,” He murmured. “This is amazing.” Keith remained in there, talking to the paladin’s before dinner, and watching them all leave, save for Shiro. “You coming?” He asked, looking Red in the eye. The red paladin felt a shot of fear in his heart; he didn’t want to go back to being blind, to being  _ useless.  _ “Keith, come on. I’ll stay by your side, okay?” That was enough to draw him out, tucking himself into the others side and under Shiro’s arm. The two walked together, and again Keith wished that it was under different circumstances. Maybe one day he could get the guts to ask Shiro out, but today was  _ definitely _ not that day. 

 

The older man quietly led him to the dining room, where he could sense that everyone had already taken their seat. He had the feeling that there were eyes on him, and he tried to brush it off as Shiro helped him sit in his chair. The head of Voltron sat as well, easily slipping his Galran hand into Keith’s left. The table resumed eating, and Keith took a deep breath, right hand shakily grabbing his spoon and letting his senses search for his bowl. He found it and slid the spoon into the food goo, putting more pressure into lifting it than needed and listening as the goo went flying, splattering somewhere. The others grew quiet and anxiety hit Keith like a bus as he dropped his spoon, tears welling up in his blind eyes as he realized how helpless his disability made him. 

 

Shiro’s hand tightened in his own, murmuring to him that it was okay and that Keith just needed to be a little more careful next time. He heard Shiro begin eating again, and the other paladins slowly followed as Keith went for his spoon again. The red paladin’s hand shook badly, resulting in the spoon mimicking his vibrations. This time he managed to scoop a little bit out and ate it slowly, and wondered how he did it so easily the first time. He took a few bites before he accidentally flung the goo again, this time hitting Lance apparently at the others shocked yell reverberated throughout the room. “Yo man, watch it!”

 

The table grew silent again, especially Lance who quickly realized his mistake, and Keith’s frustrations got the best of him as hot, angry tears licked their way down his face. A suppressed sob broke free as he all but ran out, nearly falling down a few times as his feet carried him into his room. The lock was activated as soon as he stepped in, and now he lay on the floor, curled up and sobbing angrily into his arms. He just wanted his sight back; everything was twice as difficult, hell, even eating was an obvious challenge when he didn’t focus on the pressure in his hands. Something he could control when he had his sight. 

 

A light knock came to his door, as expected, and heard Shiro’s deep voice speaking to him through the locked door. “Hey Keith, I brought you some more dinner. I know you don’t want to try, but you need to eat.” The boy sniffled, and he sensed the other shifting his feet in worry. “Come on buddy, let me in.” 

 

Keith finally dragged himself up and unlocked the door shakily, sliding his feet over to his bed where he sat on the edge, tired, dull eyes following the sound of Shiro’s footsteps crossing the room and sitting beside him. A bowl of goo was placed in his hands and Keith muttered a soft thanks, gingerly grabbing the spoon and prodding the goo with it. A sigh came from Shiro, and suddenly there was a larger hand around the one holding the spoon, helping Keith scoop the food and raised it to his mouth, where the younger hesitantly let to spoon slip in. They continued this quietly, and Keith almost hated the fact that he needed help now.  _ It was so easy before, what happened? _

 

Once Keith declined the rest of the food goo, which was at a little less than half, Shiro set the bowl aside and pulled Keith into a tight hug. The younger let himself be swallowed by the other’s larger stature, arms wrapping around Shiro tightly. They hugged for a few minutes, when Keith decided to break the silence with his worries. 

 

“Why do you even try?” He quietly asked the other, keeping his face hidden. “I’m… I’m a lost cause, I can’t even eat by myself.” There was sadness mixed with light anger in his voice. 

 

“Because,” Shiro started, rubbing Keith’s back. “You’re worth it. You’re part of our team, Keith. You’re family, one of us. If one of us is suffering, then we’re all suffering. And especially because…” The was a long moment of silence, and Keith grew more anxious at it. “Because I care deeply about you, we all do. I… I want to help you, because I know you can fight, and you want to, you just need to be supported all of the way there. I don’t mind, at all actually.” Shiro chuckled nervously, then let one of his hands move around and slide up to hold one side of Keith’s face. The two were blushing darkly. “Listen I, I know that you’re younger than me but… I couldn’t help it. I’ve fallen in love with you Keith, and I’ve tried pushing it away… But seeing you like this, struggling I… I can’t just stand by. I love you, I have for awhile now, before all of this happened.”

 

Keith’s eyes were wide despite not being able to see, face blazing red. Shiro actually  _ loved  _ him, more than just a crush. The a crushing realization washed upon him, a frown spreading across his face. “How… How do I know you’re not just saying that because you pity me?” Before he knew it though, lips were being pressed to his own.

 

As quick as they came together, Shiro pulled away, stuttering apologies. “I-I I’m sorry Keith, I just, I couldn’t let you even  _ think  _ that all of this was out of pity. I-” Keith hushed him, needing some quiet to think for a moment, leaning his head on Shiro’s chest. Maybe Shiro actually liked him, if the quick beating of the others heart was anything to go by. It was like they were high schoolers again, confessing to one another under a staircase. He, hopefully, faced Shiro again, smiling softly. 

 

“Thanks Shiro, for telling me… I… I’ve liked you too,” Shiro’s breath hitched. “I just… I just thought you’d want to go someone who’s your age… That’s why I never said anything…” Another gentle kiss was pressed to Keith’s lips and he melted, kissing back. He wished that he had his sight back now of all times, to see the face that just confessed to him. Light tears fell upon his smooth cheeks and were quickly wiped away by soft thumbs, a smile gracing his lips again as he pulled away from the kiss. “Sorry, I just-” 

 

“Don’t apologize. How about we get you into bed? I’ll come join you after I get dressed and talk to Allura, okay?” Keith nods hesitantly, sensing Shiro getting off the bed and getting some clothes for him. “Here, a shirt and some shorts. I’ll be back soon, don’t get too comfy without me.” Keith let a small giggle escape him, a louder chuckle coming from Shiro before his forehead was kissed and the other was walking out of the room. Keith smiled fondly, quietly changing with little struggle then curling up in bed, waiting for the other to come back. The younger was on the brink of sleep when Shiro returned, smiling lazily when the other’s weight dipped the bed a bit. Keith turned a bit and cuddled into the other, shifting until he was laying just right. 

 

“Good night, Keith. Sleep well,” Shiro’s warm voice said. “If you need to, wake me up, okay?” The younger nods sleepily, easily drifting off against Shiro. Said man followed him into the realm of dreams, the two cuddling closely. 

  
Hopefully, everything would start looking up now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, feel free to PM me on twitter @zaynewrites !! I always love to talk!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah sorry for not updating this!! I've been struggling with trying to put this chapter together so hopefully its okay?

Keith woke in the middle of the night again, though wasn’t startled by the lack of light that his eyes provided as he was the night before. His face was buried in Shiro’s chest, and warm metal was wrapped around his torso, reminding him of the other’s feelings towards him. The younger smiled softly, scooting closer to Shiro and trying to fall back asleep to no avail. 

After laying with a sleeping Shiro for an hour, he got too restless to stay and instead got up slowly, making sure not to wake the other before letting his senses lead him out of the room and down to the lion’s bay; he knew that sitting with Red would help him relax enough to sleep. The lion was already beckoning Keith as soon as he stepped into the room, and the paladin easily stepped into her mouth, settling in the seat with a sigh. 

Hands roamed over the familiar controls and the blind man named each one silently, glad that he could still tell which each one was from simple muscle memory. Red rumbled with a purr and a smile crossed Keith’s face as he moved to curl up in the seat. Red’s purr continued, and her paladin easily fell back asleep in around fifteen minutes.

\----

Shiro came searching for Keith around three am in the castle's time when he had woken up by himself. His first stop was the training room, and luckily he wasn’t there. Next was the lion’s bay, and he guessed right when the red lion’s mechanical head turned towards him as he entered, lowering herself and letting the black paladin in. Said paladin relaxed as he saw Keith resting in the seat, moving over to him quietly and combing his hands through greasy black hair; he made note to get the younger to take a shower later. 

Keith woke to the fingers in his hair, stiffening up a bit. “Shiro? Is… Is that you?” He asked with a murmur, leaning away from the hand a bit and rubbing at his face.

Shiro sighed softly. “Yeah, it’s me,” He murmured, leaning down and kissing the top of Keith’s hair. “I told you that you could wake me up if you needed something,” He spoke, running his hand along Keith’s arm gingerly. “Are you alright?”

Keith nodded, feeling around for Shiro’s hand before letting their fingers twine together. “I’m fine, I just… Red helps me relax. I didn’t want to wake you so I came here,” He murmured, standing up after a moment and looking just next to Shiro’s face, which still made the older paladin uncomfortable. 

“Hey, how about we get you into a shower before breakfast?” Shiro suggested. “Your hair is greasy, and a shower could help you relax.” Keith seemed hesitant, but nodded, moving closer to the other’s side as they walked out of Red and to the red paladin’s room. As they walked, Shiro noticed how tense the other was, constantly looking down at him in worry. “Keith? Is anything bothering you?” He asked as the two entered Keith’s room.

Keith let out a bitter laugh, and Shiro immediately knew that the other wasn’t faring well again. “Besides the fact that I can’t see?”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Stop, Shiro,” He said with light anger in his voice, and Shiro frowned, wondering where this sudden hostility came from. “You’re treating me like I’m helpless, which surprise, I’m not,” The elder paladin settled a hand on Keith’s shoulder, but the younger pulled away from it, separating their hands with a yank. “No! Stop, just, don’t. All of this is out of pity, I know it. Stop with the touching, it hurts because I know you don’t love me. Y-You’re just gonna leave me, like everyone else.” 

Gentle, crystal tears found their way down Keith’s cheeks and Shiro felt his heart wrench at what the other said. It was obvious that the other had issues with getting close to others, and the black paladin realized that he had picked a terrible time to confess; Keith was in a bad place already, and putting extra emotions on his shoulders probably made everything worse. Shiro started speaking, keeping his voice steady.

“Keith… None of this is out of pity,” He murmured, walking forward slowly and wiping away the other’s tears. “I chose the wrong time to tell you, I should have known better. I love you, okay?” Keith froze. “Nothing is going to change that. I won’t leave you, I know it’s hard to believe that, but I won’t ever leave. You’re not helpless, and I know that what I’m doing doesn’t help my argument, but I can’t help it. I want to protect you. I want to make you smile more, and I want to hear you laugh again, before all of this happened. Please let me help you.”

Keith was silent for a long while, and Shiro worried that maybe he had gone overboard, said too much at the wrong time. Before he could pull away though, Keith was buried in Shiro’s chest, letting out quiet sobs. “I-I’m sorry,” The younger whimpered. “It’s hard-”

“Hush, Keith. I’m right here, you don’t need to say anything.” The two remained like that, Keith crying his eyes dry and sobbing his throat raw. The red paladin hadn’t really had a good grip on his emotions most of his life, letting things spill out and other times letting everything build up then release it onto someone who probably didn’t deserve it. He tried, oh lord did he try to keep a handle on said emotions while in space, but these past few days have pushed him to his limit, crushing any progress he had made. His head was constantly moving and doubting and pushing unwanted thoughts on him, trying to get him to do their bidding. 

It was minutes later when Keith had run out of tears, his voice gone quiet after it was too hoarse to cry out. Shiro held him through that, rocking them softly to help the younger relax. “Come on, I’ll start a bath for you,” He murmured, rubbing Keith’s back. “It’ll help you relax, it’s easier than a shower right now.” The older man didn’t miss the way that Keith flinched at the mention of ‘easier’, and he knew that it probably wasn’t the best choice of words, but there was no taking it back now. Shiro led Keith into the adjoined bathroom and helped him sit on the counter as he kneeled down and started the bath, plugging the water with the provided metal plug. 

He made sure the water wasn’t too hot, then watched as it filled most of the way before shutting it off and turning to Keith, resting a hand on his shoulder to let him know where he was. “I’ll go now, okay? The shampoo is next to the faucet and the conditioner is on the other side. I’ll uhm, I’ll be in your room, so just let me know if you need me, okay?” The blind boy nodded, listening as Shiro stepped away and into the bedroom, door hissing shut behind him. 

Keith tugged off his clothes easily, setting them on the counter, he hoped, and carefully walking over to the tub. It was bigger than earth tubs, and it was easier to submerge your whole body with how deep it was. He kneeled down and found the metallic ledge, holding onto it as he lowered his body into the warm water. It definitely felt nice, he wasn’t going to deny that. Keith’s tense muscles relaxed as he submerged himself in the bath, letting out a long sigh. 

His mind wandered a little bit, and he let himself think about the situation as he was surrounded by the water. Did Shiro really love him? It was true that Keith had a hard time establishing and maintaining relationships, he was an orphan after all, and the last time he maintained some sort of a relationship, it was lost when Takashi Shirogane was pronounced dead in space. It had seriously messed with Keith’s social skills and was easily kicked out of the Garrison after continuously losing his already weak grip on his emotions. Finding Shiro again had been amazing, and it let his mind piece itself back together a bit at such a familiar face. Back to the present, even with their friendship having been put back together and strengthened, finding out that Shiro loved him was a total shock, layering itself on the already tremendous amount of shock that lay in place from becoming blind. 

The man sighed and reached around for the shampoo, squirting some of the alien gel in his hands after getting his hair wet and now scrubbing it into his greasy locks. Keith sighed softly as he washed his hair, sudsing it up well before leaning back and rinsing the soap from his hair. Taking a bath in total darkness wasn’t too bad, he thought. It was more soothing than anything, and he quickly found it to be the one thing that the blindness hadn’t ruined. Soon enough he was conditioning his hair and rinsing that out as well, now just laying in the water with his eyes closed. He felt so relaxed that he could probably fall asleep, but he knew the water would grow cold before he left himself drift off, so he instead sat up and tried to sense where the towel was, to no avail. 

Muscled legs drew themselves up to his chest as he cleared his throat, making sure to cover as much of his body as he could before calling out to Shiro. It didn’t take long for the elder man to come in, though Keith sensed him staying by the door. “Yeah Keith? Do you need anything?” The younger nodded looking vaugely in Shiro’s direction. 

“I don’t… I don’t know where the towel is. Can you put one on the ground for me?” He asked shyly, bringing his legs a little closer to himself. 

“Yeah, of course.” There was some footsteps and the sound of the towel being put down next to the tub. “Anything else?” He asked softly, and Keith nodded. 

“Can you get me a change of clothes?” He heard Shiro hum an affirmative, and sensed him walking away. He couldn’t sense the man farther than the doorway, but could hear him looking through Keith’s drawers. He returned a moment later, setting the clothes on the counter. 

“There. I’ll be in the room, okay?” Keith nodded, and started to climb out of the tub after the door had slid shut. He easily located the towel and dried himself off, then got dressed with only a little struggle; why the hell did shirts have to have so many holes?

He stepped back into his room, sensing Shiro sitting on his bed. The man went to stand but Keith raised his hand, slowly moving to sit against the wall on his bed. The elder shifted a bit, and Keith cleared his throat. “Thanks,” He mumbled. “It helped me think about a lot of stuff. I… Shiro I… I have a hard time keeping relationships together after you left… but now… I want to try. I’m not, I’m not good at handling my emotions, especially right now, so if you want to keep trying with me, then, then I wouldn’t mind.” He looked up at where he could sense Shiro, swallowing nervously. 

Shiro was silent and unmoving, and Keith grew more nervous each second. Before he could apologize for saying that though, the other man was moving and enveloping Keith in a hug, pressing the other against his broad muscles. “I want to help you,” He murmured. “I don’t want to stop trying, okay? We, we can do this. Together.” Keith nodded and hugged back, sighing shakily and burying his face in the others shoulder. 

“Thank you,” The younger whispered. Shiro didn’t answer, opting for hugging Keith closer. They remained like that for a few minutes, the elder the first to part.

“I’m getting hungry, are you? No one should be awake right now, we can eat by ourselves in the dining hall.” Keith nods, sensing Shiro getting up then following him, tucking himself under the other’s strong arm as they walked into the hallway and into the dining hall. Keith was sat at the table while Shiro got their food, fidgeting in nervousness. It was too soon that a bowl and spoon were set in front of him, and he waited until the other started to eat before picking up his own spoon, taking a deep breath then sliding the spoon in the goo, managing to keep it on the utensil and eat it. Keith relaxed a great deal, eating quietly alongside Shiro. For once, he finished his food, not missing the sigh of relief that left Shiro. 

“You finished,” Shiro mumbled, pressing a kiss to Keith’s cheek. “I’m glad. Is there anything else you wanted to do?” Sleep. 

“Uhm, I… There’s nothing to really do so can I just… Lay down or something?” Keith asked softly, standing slowly. 

“Yeah, of course. I’m going to go train for a bit, then I’ll join you, okay?” Keith nods at what Shiro said, walking out of the room and letting his senses lead him to his own room. It was still early morning, so he couldn’t sense anyone walking through the halls thankfully. He walked into what he hoped was his own room, laying on the bed. He frowned softly; his bed felt… bigger. He sat up a bit and let his senses reach out, freezing as he realized that this wasn’t his room, it was Shiro’s. He almost got up, but the blankets and pillow smelled just so Shiro that Keith couldn’t help himself. He laid down, curling up in the blankets and easily falling asleep, remaining that way until he woke in a cold sweat. He didn’t have a nightmare, at least, he didn’t remember having one, but he felt more anxious than usual. 

Keith stumbled out of Shiro’s room, walking quickly to the training room in hopes that the other was in there. His hopes were realized as he stepped into the room and head the other’s grunts of exertion and the sound of metal hitting metal. Shiro apparently noticed Keith standing there and called off the robot, panting softly as he walked into the others sensing range. “Keith, what’re you doing? Are you alright?” The younger shrugged and stepped forward, raising his arms up a bit for a hug. The elder obliged, wrapping him in a tight hug. “What’s wrong?” Shiro whispered. 

Keith shook his head, sniffing softly. “I don’t know,” He murmured. “I woke up and… and I felt scared. So-So I came to find you.” Shiro relaxed, holding Keith closer and pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. 

“I’m here for you,” He mumbled with a smile. “Do you want me to lay with you?” Keith nods, pressing a hesitant kiss to Shiro’s sweaty neck. A chuckle rumbled out of the elders throat, and he lifted Keith, carrying him to Shiro’s room. “Is my room alright?” Keith nods, biting his lip. 

“Earlier I… I fell asleep in here…” He felt Shiro nod, and heard the hiss of the door opening and closing, relaxing into the bed he was laid on. 

“I’m just going to shower and change, I won’t be long, I promise.” Shiro wasn’t long at all, probably only a total of ten minutes, but that was enough for Keith to wrap himself up in the blankets and grow drowsy again. The bed dipped and Keith felt Shiro wrap an arm around him, a smile gracing the blind man’s face. He snuggled into the other’s chest, noting that he wasn’t wearing a shirt but not commenting on it. 

“Shiro? Are… Are we dating?” He asked hesitantly, tracing patterns into the the other’s torso. He felt the torso tense slightly, and began to regret his question. “I’m so-”

“Yeah. I think we are.” Keith’s heart filled with something that he couldn’t exactly explain, but he grinned nonetheless, shifting closer. 

“Good. I… I like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if Im going to continue this? 
> 
> hmu @zaynewrites on twitter if you wanna talk!!

**Author's Note:**

> Comment any ideas you may have for the story, or hmu @zaynewrites on twitter!! I accept all prompts, as well.


End file.
